Girls These Days

Since becoming a mom and step mom, I have become even more aware of the messages that our society sends to females about what it means to be an attractive, successful woman. So much of what we see is half-naked women with, for the average woman, unattainably svelt and busty figures with too-perfect airbrushed skin and perfectly coiffed hair (which took much longer to do than I’d have time for in a normal day). There is entirely too much emphasis on sexuality in our culture, and quite frankly it infuriates me. I am presented with an unachievable goal and my husband is presented with a much more attractive figure than mine to gaze at. Fair? Hardly. Should I be surprised? No.

BUT…then the question arises: “Since there is little I can do to change the sexualization of our entire culture, how should I handle things with my girls and their friends?”

I’ve been thinking about what I would tell young girls today about their bodies, their minds, their souls, their purpose, their VALUE. I’ve said it so many times, but I will say it again: we were made for so much more than “sexy” and skinny. Men were made for so much more than perpetuating this image of the perfect girl, as well. I might write another blog on the guys’ side of things, too, but for now I want to focus on the ladies.

Girls, women, you are BEAUTIFUL the way God made you. The world may not see it or want to see it, but you ARE. And there is a deeper beauty from far within that can shine brighter than all of Hollywood’s starlets if we live as God intended. We may or may not be “hot” from society’s perspective, but God has formed us and knit us just the way He saw fit. He made us to be kind, strong, modest, brave, meek (not to be confused with weak), loving, compassionate, fun, cheerful…. Did you know that two of a girls’ greatest accessories are her smile and laughter? Guys worth having will look past the physical and see your joy and good character and will do whatever they must to get you and keep you. Don’t let some mostly nude tart or wildly fashionable beauty queen steal your smile and your joy just because you don’t look like she does. God meant for us to be “clothed with strength and dignity” (Proverbs 31:25). He said that “charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be PRAISED” (Proverbs 31:30).

One of the other most attractive things about a girl is confidence…not to be confused with arrogance or pride. As we see ourselves more and more as God sees us we will become more and more confident in our identity in Him. We can rest in the fact that GOD looks at our hearts, even though man may judge us by what’s on the outside. We must let our beauty from within shine through as we live as God asks us to live. There is great beauty in being merciful, in helping others in need, in forgiving those who hurt us, in standing up for those who cannot defend themselves. Our beauty is not in the latest styles and trends (although I won’t deny it is fun to play dress up!). Our beauty is not in the newest make-up tips and tricks, and our beauty is not in how much skin we can show off while still hiding the "goodies." All of that changes and fades. It is within our character that our true beauty shines, and we are valuable because GOD values us.

Have you ever seen a remarkably beautiful girl do something incredibly mean and hateful or flat-out inappropriate? She suddenly seems ugly in a way, right? The Bible says, “Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion”  (Proverbs 11:22).  I’ll just let that one sink in…

There is so much more I could sit and type out…and I would LOVE to sit down with any struggling young lady and tell her all that she needs to hear. I try to tell my girls something like this every day in our conversations, and I really try to be a good example in how I live and struggle with my own beauty and value in our world today. It’s a tough thing sometimes, girls, but let’s help each other instead of hurting each other. Stay active, eat well, take care of yourself, but don't be obsessed with whether you're "fat" or not. Let your beauty shine through in your character and remember that true beauty goes much deeper than clothes and skin. 


P.S. When it comes to those half-naked "tarts" I may have sounded harsh. I would sit down with them and love them and tell them the exact same things I've said in this entry. They were made for more than showing off their bodies, God loves them, values them, and He has a specific and good purpose for them, too! I just used that description for emphasis.   :)