House of Mourning

Ecclesiatstes 7:2- 4 “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart. Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart. The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, but the heart of fools is in the house of pleasure.”

            I have the marvelous blessing of working in a “house of mourning.” I deal with the dying on a day- to- day basis, and I am learning a great deal from it. For those who may not know, I work at an adult boarding home for people with some form of dementia. Most of those who live in the facility have come there for good… to live there till they die. The residents run the spectrum of severity in their dementia. Some are still quite independent and functional whereas many can no longer feed, clothe, bathe or transport themselves. I am constantly reminded of how fleeting life is and how quickly our talents and abilities and intelligence can be lost.  I have tremendous joys, tremendous challenges, and tremendous sorrows working with the residents. Some of them I have come to be quite close to and do not like the idea that one morning I may come to wake them up, and they will not respond…but that is reality.

            I used to avoid thinking about death, but now I have come to see the importance of remembering that death is every man’s destiny. It makes me want to make everything count: every word, every action, every smile and facial expression. I have to be mindful of this with the residents because they will mirror your emotions. If I come across as stressed and harried, they will feel anxious and stressed, too. If I mirror joy and peace, they are much more likely to respond well to me. I want the things that I do in my life to have a positive affect on those around me.  Being constantly reminded of the frailty of life has propelled me to make those last days as peaceful and enjoyable as possible for the residents, too. It’s not always easy, but Christ’s love and words concerning “caring for the least of these” compels me.

            Any of you who have never worked with the dying, I would encourage you to do so. Volunteer at a nursing home, memory care facility, hospital, etc. Get to know some of the people and their stories. Be reminded of how quickly life can change and how transient our day to day existence really is. Let it bring you to a place where you can hold all you’ve been given in an open hand before God, for He gives and He takes away. Let it compel you to seize the moments you have now to bring Light into the world, to enjoy hard work while you can work, to cultivate meaningful relationships while you are still capable, so that when your own days are over, you can confidently let death usher you into God’s presence. Death is not what God wanted for us and is a result of sin entering the world, but, just like anything else that’s negative in this life, God can use it for our good and His glory. Let Him be glorified in my life AND my death, and may I not forget that life is but a vapor.

Your Own Personal Jesus

We are, by nature, needy creatures. We all want to be loved, have purpose, be accepted, and find fulfillment. Ultimately, we are made to need God, and through Christ we are to approach Him and find our perfect love, purpose, acceptance and fulfillment. I find that too often we try to create our own source for these things. Too many people are caught in unhealthy relationship patterns because they just want someone to love and accept them. It breaks my heart to think of those in the sex industry because they believe that’s what they’re best at and so find their purpose in a dehumanizing occupation. So many adolescents just want to belong and be accepted so they partake in underage drinking and drugs, among other things.

We all desperately want those longings to be filled, but strangely we are so reluctant to go to the only One who can really satisfy. For some reason this perfect love is terrifying, and we’d rather try to take care of things on our own. Part of the problem (maybe the main part of the problem?), I believe, is that God has been so misrepresented that some have no good reason to believe He will help in any way. Most people are under the impression that they’ve done too many “bad things” for God to accept them. They don’t realize that it’s because of those “bad things” that He even sent a way out for us…because He LOVES us. They’ve been rejected and abandoned by so many that imagining a God who loves them perfectly seems entirely implausible. 

Instead, we go through life creating our own form of Jesus, trying to find meaning, love, hope, and purpose in whatever we can reach. We think we have to “get it all together” before we can come to the Father. All the while, Jesus waits with arms stretched open, calling for anyone who will come find rest in His perfect love. 

I am quite content with the quiet, simple little life I lead. I don’t know that I’ve ever been able to honestly say that before now. I used to live with such constant longing and despairing over things I wanted to have, do, be that always seemed to be so elusive…as though God were playing some cosmic teasing game with my hopes and dreams. I still hope and dream about things, but I am learning to hold it all in an open hand and to say, “Father, here are my desires, but I will joyfully accept whatever you choose for me.”

            It took me long enough to get to that place…and it wasn’t an easy road, that’s for sure. But I am also learning to be genuinely grateful for the difficult things in my life that are molding and shaping who I am and who I am becoming. I really believe and trust that God will provide in some form whenever I may be in true need. The more I realize His perfect love for me, the more my fears are driven out. Life is good. God is Good. I’ve never been so in love with Him before, and I don’t want anything to steal, kill, or destroy that.